Aside from the score, Mission Impossible doesn’t have anything to do with this video. I made this in a fit of nostalgia one afternoon. It reminds me of a job I was on working counter-intelligence for the [REDACTED] during the Cold War. This particular mission put all of my espionage skills to the test, and had me working all of the angles as a quintuple agent…

My Russian was good, so the [REDACTED] had me take a job for the Soviet Embassy in DC as a translator for visiting Russian VIPs. I was to facilitate the defections of certain “knowledgeable” individuals who would trade citizenship for information. When Immigration caught wind of my little pipeline, in order to keep it secret, I became an “informant,” in order to disinform and protect my program. Well, the KGB couldn’t help but notice this activity, and came to realize they had someone in their employ with well-placed connections inside US immigration agencies. They saw in me the opportunity to “grease the wheels” to get agents and provocateurs into the country who could then foment radical Communist activities inside the United States. Oddly, my handlers at the [REDACTED] thought this was a great idea! We fast-tracked legal status papers for nearly a hundred of these agents before I was given instructions to infiltrate one of their groups to better learn the Soviets’ methods of organization. My cover was as a guitar player for a punk rock band providing the gritty, hard-boiled soundtrack for a radical communist activist movement in [REDACTED] City. I traveled in those circles for three years. The band got pretty good, if I say so myself. We had a song that got played on some of the local radio stations (and this was in the nation’s [REDACTED] largest radio market!) There was even a record deal in the works.

Long story short, our own fans accused us of selling out. I immediately lost cred with all of my assets, and with that, the ability to collect actionable intelligence. The plug quickly got pulled on my intelligence program, and the Agency made me public enemy number one for having let all those commies into the country. My name is Mellon Boy and I used to be a spy.

Incidentally, The Green Spy won the Academy Award for “Best Editing” in 2011.

You can believe every word of this post because I don’t watch Tom Cruise vanity flicks, let alone “get inspired” by them. You crazy Scientologists won’t get your meathooks into me!