Two more under the cut.

With all due respect to Fafblog! the whole world’s only original source for Friday pie blogs, and also Who is IOZ?’s ostentatious Foodie Friday series, here is a Friday Mustard Mellon post about the pie I made the other day:

Delicious!

You want the recipe? The filling is just…

• A hatful of assorted wild berries. (It’s the middle of winter, so they were frozen. We had to dig them out of the snowpack. Just kidding, they were in the freezer.)
• Two pocketfuls of sugar. (To bring out the fruit juices, and also possibly to enhance the sweetness, who really knows with all that food chemistry mumbo jumbo, but two pocketfuls is a lot.)
• A mouthful of flower. (As a thickener, I suppose.)
• A fistful of justice. (For garnish.)

I dumped all of that in a homemade pie shell and handcrafted the lattice to go over the top using more homemade pie shell. Then baked it to perfection. Look at that photo. That’s what we call in the business, “golden brown.”

Mellon Dad made a chocolate cream pie. Here it is chillin’ in the fridge, before getting the whip cream topping treatment:

You can read more about chocolate cream pie here.

More mouthwatering berry pie images under the cut…

The future is a pretty cool place if you ever get the chance to go there.  We get to live in houseboats, drive flying cars, go up in the space elevator and babies can tell time!

If you haven’t mastered time travel, be patient. Wait around long enough and you’ll eventually get there.

You may be thinking “wow what a awesome duct tape replica of the upper half of the red clone trooper”, but that’s not what you should be thinking. You should be thinking is “wow what an awesome upper half of a red clone trooper armor salvaged from the battle of Geonosis”.

and also you might be thinking “wow what an awesome black nerf gun” but you should be thinking “wow what an awesome clone trooper rifle loaned to you by Commander Cody himself”.

you also may be thinking “wow look its mellon boy in a clone trooper uniform” and yes you are right.

SMITH: Mr. Anderson. It seems you have been living two lives. In one life, you’re Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company, you have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Neo. You enter the semantic framework we have created to hide the true reality of the world, you bend the rules of this model in such a way as to turn bullets into Nerf darts, and then you dodge them. To which I, and the other sentient programs in charge of policing the system say, “Hey! No fair!”

Aside from the score, Mission Impossible doesn’t have anything to do with this video. I made this in a fit of nostalgia one afternoon. It reminds me of a job I was on working counter-intelligence for the [REDACTED] during the Cold War. This particular mission put all of my espionage skills to the test, and had me working all of the angles as a quintuple agent…

My Russian was good, so the [REDACTED] had me take a job for the Soviet Embassy in DC as a translator for visiting Russian VIPs. I was to facilitate the defections of certain “knowledgeable” individuals who would trade citizenship for information. When Immigration caught wind of my little pipeline, in order to keep it secret, I became an “informant,” in order to disinform and protect my program. Well, the KGB couldn’t help but notice this activity, and came to realize they had someone in their employ with well-placed connections inside US immigration agencies. They saw in me the opportunity to “grease the wheels” to get agents and provocateurs into the country who could then foment radical Communist activities inside the United States. Oddly, my handlers at the [REDACTED] thought this was a great idea! We fast-tracked legal status papers for nearly a hundred of these agents before I was given instructions to infiltrate one of their groups to better learn the Soviets’ methods of organization. My cover was as a guitar player for a punk rock band providing the gritty, hard-boiled soundtrack for a radical communist activist movement in [REDACTED] City. I traveled in those circles for three years. The band got pretty good, if I say so myself. We had a song that got played on some of the local radio stations (and this was in the nation’s [REDACTED] largest radio market!) There was even a record deal in the works.

Long story short, our own fans accused us of selling out. I immediately lost cred with all of my assets, and with that, the ability to collect actionable intelligence. The plug quickly got pulled on my intelligence program, and the Agency made me public enemy number one for having let all those commies into the country. My name is Mellon Boy and I used to be a spy.

Incidentally, The Green Spy won the Academy Award for “Best Editing” in 2011.

You can believe every word of this post because I don’t watch Tom Cruise vanity flicks, let alone “get inspired” by them. You crazy Scientologists won’t get your meathooks into me!

We are not alone! There is little doubt that this is the work of intelligent life, (from far, far away.)

Staring at a blank canvas, you may imagine many things, but not as much as a girl named Georgia! Staring at some animal bones to paint, she looks back at the canvas. It’s not blank anymore.

What does she see? A sun-bleached animal skull? Some flowers? Maybe an angry mule deer skull and some flowers floating in the sky over a fire red desert? She could look at nature and see stuff you just wouldn’t believe! I looked at the canvas and saw opportunity. This forgery of Georgia O’Keeffe’s Mule Deer Skull and Flowers was good enough to fool art experts and sell at auction for $2.1 million. But that doesn’t happen for another 30 years or so. Don’t tell anybody, ok?

There are close-up detail shots after the cut.

I know what you’re thinking: “What a clever duct tape replica of an Episode 2 red clone trooper helmet!” That is what it looks like, but really I was more inspired by my dad’s old Mandalorian helmet from his days as a training sergeant during the Clone Wars. Now you’re probably thinking, “Wow, how awesome would it be to have a Mandalorian soldier for a father?!” Well, it is pretty awesome, but it’s also pretty cool having an escaped genetically-enhanced ex-government assassin for a mom. Sure, growing up in the post-apocalyptic Pacific Northwest was hard, but we were happy.

More images of that sweet duct tape helmet under the cut.